Protocol for Piping a Formal Dinner: A Ceremonial Guide for Highland Bagpipers

It is believed that the custom of dining in began in the monasteries, was adopted by the early universities, and later spread to military units when the officer’s mess was established. British officers of the 19th century were drawn from the aristocracy, and while they considered themselves gentlemen, they were not necessarily men of means; third and fourth sons had little chance of inheriting title and lands under primogeniture. While the pooling of resources may have been out of economic necessity, the regimental officer’s mess maintained the social stratification of English society and ensured that the traditions of gentlemanly conduct were maintained and inculcated to junior officers. The primary elements are a rigidly formal setting, espirit de corps and the camaraderie of peers, a fine dinner, traditional toasts to the head of state and military services, martial music and the attendance of honored guests or speakers. Today, although the purpose of a dinner may be to observe an appointment, promotion, retirement, or some auspicious occasion, a central theme of such events is a ceremonial focus upon the history of the host organization.

While the tradition of having a piper at high table may have it’s origins in the clan system in Scotland & Ireland, the formal dinners and dining in ceremonies as we know them today are directly attributable to the traditions of the officers mess in the British Army and Royal Navy. Originally fife & drums or trumpeters were employed to sound the calls; as Highland regiments were organized, pipers were employed not only for this purpose, but to celebrate great battles and victories in the history of the regiment and to memorialize their dead, quite in keeping with the Celtic bardic tradition. It should be borne in mind that originally Army pipers were outfitted and paid not by the Exchequer but exclusively by the officer’s mess; without their patronage, modern Highland regiments wouldn’t have ever had pipers, and without the Army to maintain and build upon this tradition the great Highland bagpipe would be about as familiar to most people today as the zampogna.

When a piper is requested to pipe the calls and the music at a formal dinner, you might be engaged to perform throughout dinner; to provide a limited performance such as pipe in the head table, pipe the lament and/or pipe in the port; or to simply pipe in the head table and depart. While there are many different traditions associated with formal dining, the following are some of the customs associated with piping a formal dinner. You may be requested to perform some, all, or some variant of any of them on occasion.

Dress

Such affairs are invariably formal, requiring black tie, occasionally white tie, or full parade regalia. Miniature decorations and medals are worn. If flying a pipe banner, ensure that the drone cords and/or ribbons are to the left of the banner; i.e., not over the regimental crest. If there is more than one piper, the banner is traditionally flown by the ranking piper present, who will lead the detachment, formed up in order of rank or seniority.

Seating

The seating arrangement at the head table is always based on rank, seniority and status. The host sits in the middle, the next senior person (or guest of honor) to his/her right, the next senior person to his/her left and so on, until all are seated. The senior-ranking member of the mess is the head (or «President») of the mess dinner and sits in the center. The President of the Mess may appoint a second («Mr. Vice»), usually the junior officer of the mess, who will be in charge of planning, and who usually occupies the seat farthest from the host, sometimes on the far right, sometimes at another table. Officers take precedence over civilians. If a guest speaker has no rank or status, he/she is positioned as close to the center (right of the host) as possible without offending rank precedence. Chaplains are usually included at the head table, usually at the far left of the President.

Warning Calls

15 minute and 5 minute warning calls are usually sounded to alert the guests that dinner is about to be served, and may be provided by a piper. When piping warning calls a short up-tempo tune is required but no specific title may be prescribed. In some regiments it would be the Officers Call (e.g., «All the Blue Bonnets Are O’er The Border»). A naval tradition is to ring «six bells» (19:00) on a ship’s bell for the 15-minute warning (if dining at 7:15 PM, of course). Dinner may be signaled by a brief pipe tune («Brose and Butter» is a traditional one), followed by the host or master of ceremonies announcing, «Dinner is served!»

March-in

The guests (except the head table) will proceed into the dining room and remain standing behind their chairs; the closer to top table, the higher the rank or seniority. You may be requested to pipe in the guests. The head table forms up in order of seating, led by the host and the principal guest. When cued, lead the people of the head table into the dining room playing an appropriate tune; «Roast Beef of Old England», «A Man’s A Man for all That», «Prince of Denmark’s March», or the regimental march. If space permits, parade counter clockwise around the room. This is particularly important when flying a drone banner. The regimental crest on the obverse of the banner is always displayed first. When everyone is in place, continue to march, and finish playing at the halt near the dining-room entrance. At a signal from the host, stop playing and remain at attention until grace has been said. If you are not to provide the music during dinner, march from the room after grace is said.

Posting the Colors

An honor guard may post and retire the colors; as a piper you may be requested to pipe them in and out. As the American and Canadian national anthems cannot be properly played on the pipes, other appropriate patriotic tunes must be selected. If you march in with the color guard, make sure that you’re well rehearsed in their drill first; they march in close order with wheeling movements to change direction. Of course, if not playing stand at attention with pipes down for the National Anthem(s). If you’re flying a drone banner, watch the color guard and drop your bass drone from horizontal when they dip the colors.

The Lament

In some military and veterans organizations it is customary to remember comrades killed in action, sometimes with an empty place setting, sometimes with a small table before the head table. You may be requested to play a lament in their memory. «Flowers of the Forest» is traditional, but other laments may work equally as well if the host has expressed no preference.

Piping in the Beef

In some traditions, the main course (traditionally beef) is ceremoniously piped in to the head table (or «Mr. Vice»), which will sample it and formally announce it fit for consumption. «Roast Beef of Old England» or «A Man’s a Man For All That» may be used if not played previously to pipe in the head table. You may pipe the beef out as well.

Piping in the Haggis

If haggis is served (such as a Burn’s Dinner), pipe the haggis to the head table to «A Man’s a Man For All That». Stand at attention for the recital of Burn’s «Address to a Haggis», and participate in the toast to his «immortal memory». Pipe the haggis out to «Neil Gow’s Farewell to Whisky».

Main Course Music

Wait until all at the head table has been served before beginning to play suitable selections intermittently throughout the main course. A piobaireachd is often considered customary. If parading around the room, it is customary to start «widdershins»; counterclockwise. If flying a pipe banner, it may be appropriate to countermarch as well, in order to display the unit crest on the obverse side. Prior to the port wine being served, the host/delegate will signal you to stop playing.

Piping in the Port

An old custom is the piping in of the port wine for the Loyal Toast. After dessert and coffee are served, tables are cleared except for the table decorations and wine glasses. No special music is required, but it should be short and appropriate. On cue, lead the wine stewards into the dining room, positioning yourself at a predetermined spot, and continue to play until the wine is about to be sampled and declared potable by the host. Sometimes the piper will play as the port is passed down the tables as the guests charge their glasses. Remain at attention until the Loyal Toast is drunk and then march from the room, unless required to stay for the Toast to the Corps.

Loyal Toast

If a Commonwealth dinner (or if UK guests are present), you may be requested to play «God Save the Queen» before the Loyal Toast. The person proposing the toast will ask everyone to stand and join him in a toast to the Queen. The member will then raise his/her wineglass shoulder high and say: «The Queen». The assembly will respond: «The Queen».

If an American dinner, the host may propose a toast to the Commander-in-Chief. Mr. Vice seconds this by rising and addressing the company, saying, «Gentlemen, the Commander-in-Chief of the United States». Each member and guest then stands, repeats in unison the toast (e.g., «The Commander-in-Chief of the United States»), sips the drink, and remains standing. The band then plays the National Anthem. If piping, play «America the Beautiful» or «God Bless America». At the conclusion of the music, members and guests are again seated.

Toast to the Corps

You may be requested to play the regimental march prior to a Toast to the Corps. Unfortunately, the only American regimental marches that «fit» well on the pipes are the «Marine Corps Hymn» and «Semper Paratus».

Paying the Piper

At the conclusion of your performance, the host may offer you (or the lead piper) a quaich containing a dram (about 3.5 ml) of whisky. Stand to the left of the host. Taking the quaich in both hands, hold it shoulder high and face the head table. It is traditional for the piper to toast the head table (Sláinte! «to your health» in Gaelic; phonetically Slanjer or Slanja), turn to the company and offer a formal toast. Following the toast, you’re expected to drink the whisky in one draught, toast the company (Sláinte!), and flip the cup over and kiss the bottom. Following the ceremony, take your leave of the head table and march from the room. Unless you’re Gaelic is very good, you’re probably best off offering your formal toast in English.

The traditional Pipe Major’s toast of the Liverpool Scottish might be adapted to a range of events;

Gaelic


Slainte mhor, Slainte Banrighinn

Slainte agus buaidh gu brath

le Gillean Forbasach.

Phonetic


Slanjervaw, slanjer banreen

Slanjer aggus booey goo bra

la gillian forbusach

English


Good health, health to the Queen

Health and success for ever

to the Forbes lads

Conclusion

At the conclusion of the dinner, you may be requested to play the National Anthem. As neither «The Star Spangled Banner» nor «Oh Canada» can be played successfully on the limited tonal range of the pipes, play «America the Beautiful» or «Maple Leaf Forever» instead. Of course, if not playing stand at attention with pipes down for the National Anthem(s). If you’re flying a drone banner, watch the color guard and drop your bass drone from horizontal when they dip the colors.

Duty Tunes of the 48th Highlanders of Canada

Officers Mess Call (15 minutes)

«Bannock & Barley Meal»

Meal Call (5 minutes)

«Caller Herrin'»

Pipe in Guests

«Lt. Col. Robertson»

Pipe in Head Table

«Highland Laddie»

Lament

«Flowers of the Forest»

First Set (Main Course)

Ends with «Highland Laddie»

Second Set (Dessert)

Ends with «Lt. Col. Robertson»

Pipe Major’s Toast:

Host:

A Mhàidseir na pìoba, òlamaid deoch-slàinte!

(Pipe Major, let us drink a toast)

Pipe Major’s reply:

A h-uile latha a chì ‘s nach fhaic, an dà fhicheadamh ‘s a h-ochd gu bràth! Slàinte don Bhànrigh! Slàinte Mhòr! Slàinte!

(Every day that I see you, or that I don’t see you, the 48th forever! Health to the Queen! Great good health! Health!)

Camisetas de fútbol Equipamiento, ropa y calzado deportivo . Compra online ahora con los mejores descuentos. by Emmet Bondurant

The Diary of Jack the Ripper – Book Review

Jack the Ripper remains the most notorious serial killer of all time. The fact he was never caught and never identified maintains the mystery. Here is a book that purports to reveal Jack's actual diary. According to the writer, Jack the Ripper was in fact a cotton merchant from Liverpool by the name of James Maybrick. No I am not giving away the ending, that much is revealed on the first page. He traveled to London by train, murdered and mutilated his victims, and calmly returned home to torment his young wife.

James Maybrick was unquestionably an interesting man. He traveled to Norfolk, Virginia on cotton and tobacco business and on the boat journey home, met and fell in love with an American beauty by the name of Florence Chandler. She was 18. He was 41. It would seem that both parties imagined the other to be wealthier than they actually were.

Florence was destined to become the first American woman to be tried in an English court, and as the charge was one of murdering her husband, it was a case that entranced the nation. The book argues the reason for the sudden end to the Ripper killings was because Maybrick was dead.

The mysterious diary that came to light at the end of the eighties is reproduced almost in full. I will leave you to make up your mind as to its authenticity. As for the book itself, I found it an interesting read, and I certainly learned much I did not know before. It may contain glaring anomalies, but you might like to get hold of a copy yourself and make up your own mind.

There is a vaguely interesting personal footnote. Among the photographs in the book is a picture of Knowsley Buildings in Old Hall Street, Liverpool. This is the building where James Maybrick maintained his offices. It was an old block with Dickensian outside metal staircases, almost a cross between a workhouse and a prison. In my youth I knew it well. There is a photograph in the book of Knowsley Buildings and within the basement, clearly visible, is or was, a gents' hairdressing saloon. I knew that well too. I well remember sitting there waiting for a trim, as a teenage office boy, clutching my newly released Sergeant Pepper album.

The saloon was ancient and was dismantled when the building was knocked down in 1970. The thought occurs to me that could it possibly have been been that James Maybrick, who maintained an office just upstairs, had his locks trimmed there too? He was a neat dapper chap, his photograph tells us that. It would seem very likely he would pop downstairs for a cut.

Could it possibly have been that I sat in the chair that was sat in by Jack the Ripper himself, as he thought of his hideous business? Now there's a thought! I liked the book. It brought back many memories, most of them good ones.

The Diary of Jack the Ripper

By Shirley Harrison

ISBN: 1562827049

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Football Betting Tips For Beginners

Football is one of the most popular sports in the world and as a result many people bet on it. If you are a beginner and you want to bet on the world’s famous sport, here are tips that you should put into practice for you to be successful:

Bet what you know

While there are some betters who are gamblers and fans second, you should not be like them. As a beginner you should start betting on sports that you know something about.

For example, if you have been following Manchester United Football Club for a long time, you should start by betting on it before you move to other teams.

Time your wagers cautiously

In sports betting, odds fluctuate within a very short time; therefore, you should be very cautious. For example, the odds can fluctuate as a result of player injuries, breakthrough performances, and even as a result of action of other gamblers.

To be successful you should place your bets at the right time when you are more likely to make a profit.

Diversify your accounts

Online sportsbooks have different specialties. For example, there are books that specialize in European soccer leagues and others that specialize in the African league.

For you to get the most you should open accounts with multiple books so that you can have more options in terms of odds and the number of games that are available for betting. Having many accounts also makes it easy for you to shift your bankroll.

Make use of the customer service

Legitimate online bookmakers have well trained and professional customer service representatives who handle issues on behalf of the company. If you have any questions or problems, you should not shy away from contacting your bookmaker.

The good side is that there are many ways of contacting the customer service representatives. For example, you can contact them via phone, email, or live chat.

Start with simple bets

As a beginner you should stick to the basics and avoid complex issues such as between props, teasers, grand salami, and others. As rule of thumb you should start with basics.

Starting with simple bets protects you from losing money. The practice also gives you a strong foundation and you are able to learn how to bet like a pro within a very short time.

Take advantage of betting forums and message boards

These places have plenty of information that can be of great help to you; therefore, you should participate in them.

Camisetas de fútbol Equipamiento, ropa y calzado deportivo . Compra online ahora con los mejores descuentos. by Duncan Lancer

I Used to Scoff at People Who "Forgot To Eat"

I used to scoff at people who would say they were so busy they «forgot to eat.»

When I was in college, I was an art major and spent many, many hours in the art department building working on projects. I remember being there late at night or working the weekends away, and other students would lament that they hadn’t eaten all day because they were so focused they «forgot.»

How could someone forget to eat??

I never seemed to be able to stop thinking about food, as much as I wanted to. I was either considering when it was time to go eat or scrutinizing if I’d eaten too much or trying to watch portions so that I could lose weight.

One day several years later, I was at marketing conference and invited to a fancy restaurant to join a group of highly successful entrepreneurs. As I looked over the menu, I could see there was nothing less than $50 on the menu. Focusing more on what I was going to order than the people around me, I dropped out of the conversation. I became wrapped up in trying to decide what would be filling but not fattening, the best choice for my money, etc.

Across the table from me was a woman who was absolutely gorgeous. Not just beautiful in the traditional sense, but stunning in every part of her being: the way she carried herself, her laugh, her colorful, form-fitting dress, everything. I was captivated by how comfortable she seemed in her body, classy and poised yet bold.

As the waiter came and took our orders, this woman ordered several rich appetizers, a salad and a main course. I was mildly surprised, wondering where she was going to put all the food since she was very slim.

Throughout the meal, I noticed the woman took a bite here, a bite there… but mostly stayed completely involved in the conversations around her. She seemed completely engaged in the people she was talking with, and disinterested in her plate. As the waiter came and took plates away, the guy next to her commented that she hadn’t touched much.

I can still hear her voice in my head saying, «Yeah, I enjoy the presentation and savoring the best things on the menu, but it’s boring after a few bites.»

I had never thought about food that way before. Food could be boring? It was always something I was either looking forward to or trying not to obsess over… but never boring.

This woman clearly thought about food differently than I did. And, to be completely vein, I could see that clearly her thoughts were serving her figure and her level of enjoyment more than mine were.

Here I had devoted 30-40% of my attention at that dinner wrapped up in what I was ordering, how much it was, if it was too indulgent, etc. rather than being present with the amazing people around me. I was coming from a scarcity mindset both in my attitude towards money as well as food.

This woman clearly didn’t bat an eye at the prices, was quite happy to enjoy savoring the richest bites and was fully attentive to the people around her. She was operating from a place of authentic abundance on multiple levels, and she gave off that vibe. It was captivating to all those around her, including me.

Both the art students from college and this woman stuck out in my mind as I became seriously upset with my relationship with food.

I had grown up in a family that loved to eat; food was involved with socializing, rewarding, playing, relaxing. Forgetting to eat or being so extravagant would have been brushed off as «unhealthy» or «wasteful» – negative connotations.

Yet these people didn’t occur to me now to be unhealthy or wasteful. They simply had another approach. I started to see a whole world of beliefs or «invisible scripts» I had about food (and money, and scarcity). The more I started to look at how other people that I admired approached food, I learned there are reasons OTHER THAN THE FOOD to go to a nice restaurant. I also learned that there were many other ways to think about food, and none are «right» or «wrong.» They’re just different ways-and if the way I was approaching food wasn’t serving me any longer, than I needed to experiment with other ways.

(Likewise with the ways I approach money, or work, or sex… but that’s another rabbit hole too deep to get into here.)

I also realized that if you try to change your approach around the people who are comfortable with the way you have always been, it can be extremely difficult.

Most people aren’t comfortable with change-and they aren’t comfortable with YOU changing because it throws off their perception of you and challenges their own beliefs.

Which is why, If you politely decline a piece of cake at a birthday party, they’ll probably say, «Come on, it’s Susie’s birthday! You can at least have a small piece… «

So not only are you facing questioning your own beliefs, you’re also up against forces that don’t want you to change the way you are.This is why SO MANY people fail to create new habits or routines in their life, even with the best of intentions. It’s a very tough wall to climb.

If I had stayed with my old beliefs and patterns that were comfortable to those around me, I’d still have a binge eating disorder. I’d still be desperate and quietly dying inside, hating myself and losing motivation across all areas of my life.

Guess what? It’s NORMAL to grow, to feel dissatisfied with where things currently are and to yearn for more. Life is about growing, changing and evolving. You see it everywhere around you: in nature, childhood, education, investing, etc.

There’s nothing bad or «wrong» with you for wanting more, or for questioning your current approach to food (or any area of your life). While those around you may suggest that it’s better to stay as you are, I’m here to cheer for you WANTING MORE.

Not just more satisfaction with your relationship with food. More fun. More play. More peace. More wealth. More success.

How are you going to get MORE?

It starts by figuring out what’s keeping you where you’re at.

If you ask yourself why you haven’t already gotten to that «more» point, what’s your answer? What reasoning do you come up with? Keep in mind that your brain is going to rationalize in any way that it can as to why you can’t grow or change. Remember the animal brain? The part that is committed to your survival? That part doesn’t like change. It will fight it in any way that it can, because it’s the unknown where it cannot ensure your survival. So you’re going to have all sorts of excuses coming up when you try to change what you’re doing now.

But before you get too stuck in a battle of wills with yourself, trying to force a new approach, look for people that have achieved that «more» state that you would like for yourself. Who has a relationship with food that you admire? Who has created peace, wealth or success in a way that you would like to?

What’s different about their approach? See if you can guess what beliefs they have about themselves and these areas of their lives.

The more examples you can find, the better. Then experiment. Play with a new approach for a day. If it suits you, keep it for another day.

If it means going into the fanciest restaurant in your city and ordering the most indulgent items on the menu, taking a bite or two of each and then being finished with the meal… try it.

If it means investing in a new coat that’s three times more than what you «should» pay (but you know you’ll wear it for the next 6 years because you love it so much)… try it.

If it means taking a day off from work in the middle of the week to stay at home and watch your favorite movies all day because you need a break… try it.

Whatever you experiment with, the more uncomfortable it feels to do it-the better.

That’s a good indication that you’re on the path to challenging your deeply-rooted beliefs and transforming into the next phase of yourself.

The more, the better…

Las Camisetas de fútbol de adidas se encuentran entre las preferidas de muchos equipos. Descubre por qué visitando nuestra colección en la web. by Chelsea Lorynn O’Brien

Married Life: American and Japanese (Watch Your Language)

Good communication is an invaluable tool found in every successful leader's arsenal of capabilities. It is also a corner-stone in every successful marriage. As a couple grows with each other both physically and emotionally, so does their ability to communicate their needs and their ability to create real conflict resolution.

The trouble arises when you and your spouse don't fully understand one another. This may seem odd to some and I can imagine that others are entirely perplexed. How and why would you marry someone you can't speak to? Although I'm sure that does happen, what I mean is that many foreigners are capable of speaking English well but are often confused by slang or very casual English.

Due to the fact that the English language is a living and breathing thing, so to speak, it evolves and transforms with every new generation. It is difficult enough for native English speakers to follow the new slang and terms, it seems a little unfair to ask someone who is learning to also retain the slang and text short cuts such as lol, tbh, btw, FYI, idk, etc. ..

Practice Patience! Sometimes you are going to have to spell it out or rephrase your sentence. At the beginning of my marriage my husband and I would have arguments over some very simple communication errors.

I will offer two short phrases Americans use often but we don't really think about the weight of their perceived meaning.

"I don't care" When Americans use this phrase in a passive tone it is to vocalize a general indifference or it used as another way to say "I don't mind" "you can do that".

Unfortunately to foreigners (particularly those coming from less casual cultures such as Japan) this phrase seems to be suggesting that the American does not care about something they deem to be important and is therefore being rude.

I am mentioning this particular phrase because is sparked a three year fight between my mother and my husband. The Japanese have many demons and stories based around grudges because I personally believe the Japanese can hold grudges like no one else.

A similar phrase "That doesn't matter" or any variation in American culture is often used as a way to comfort someone who is upset over something that may seem insignificant to most. For example if someone is upset over a low test score their friends may try to help by saying one test doesn't really matter. This is akin to "don't sweat the small stuff", "no use crying over spilt milk" or "what done is done" … etc …

Again to some foreigners may take these phases as more of an insult than an attempt to console them. Many Japanese men (in particular) tend to over analyze what Americans would consider to be minor problems. They frequently worry over all the small details of life and can be put on the defense if they feel someone close to them (their partner) is belittling their concerns.

What should you do if you and your partner are already arguing?

I have found that asking my husband a series of questions as calmly as I can often helps me figure out where the misunderstanding is deriving from. Most often either he or I simply misunderstood the meaning. Other times we realize we have yet another cultural barrier to over come.

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The ABC of Shanghai Girls – A Lesson in Loneliness

This investigation like all research started with an idea gathered from anecdotes heard from many young women around Shanghai who were, good looking, successful, had money and were confident. However they all had one thing in common – they were not in a relationship of any kind. The hypothesis for this paper was simple: were girls here in Shanghai alone because the men wanted to find sub-dominant women who they did not feel threatened by in term of social status? The results clearly show that in fact men sought out woman of a lower social status to have a relationship with and so leaving the vast majority of successful girls alone and unfulfilled.

Introduction:

In order to substantiate the hypothesis a model of relationship symbiosis was devised in order to test women and men’s attitudes to the model and if they agreed with the proposal. This model was a simple correlation of social status to symbiosis between couples. In China many men seek a lower status woman as a way of feeling in control of the relationship through money, status, family and intelligence. Therefore they tend to seek and relate to women one step below them on the social scale. Women on the other hand are looking for a man for, security, status, home-making and propagation i.e. one step at least up from their social status.

If a woman earns more income than the man, has a higher social status or property then he feels he will lose face in front of his family, work colleagues and friends. They will feel he cannot provide for her or show a higher level of achievement. They also cannot cope with a woman of more intelligence, often leading to arguments that they cannot win against a better educated opponent. China is a highly judgemental society were social comparison not only thrives here but positively rules peoples lives in trying to live up to and match social expectations of others.

Brown (1986) suggested that social equity theory shows that people in general look for rewards, exchanges and most of all the amount of investment in a relationship. This is the situation where couples add up what they invest in a relationship such as, who does what tasks, who is the more caring, loving, sensitive, who takes care of things, financially, family or domestic. In this situation couples are looking for a reward over the cost of the relationship in the form of profit. Thibaut and Kelley (1959) went further than Brown to suggest that couples also compare themselves to others in relationships to see how they measure up and so decide if you would be better off in a different relationship somewhere else. In China this is certainly the way things appear to the outsider looking inward at the society and its credo. Although both of the above theories seem to suggest people as basically selfish, in that they are only interested in their immediate rewards, there are those who make sacrifices in the hope of future rewards, such as the daughter who looks after her aging parents in the thought that when they are gone she can have her own life. This is as Eric Berne (1960’s T.A.) would say an After-Script, that a person will wait for happiness in the future by a sacrifice today. The alternative as Berne sees it is the Until-Script in which until you do something you cannot be happy. For example until you have a successful career you cannot spend time being in a loving relationship.

The Model:

The model that was shown to Chinese participants, the research was straight forward and kept very simple. The model was shown to adult classes of Chinese students learning business English in many areas around Shanghai.  Almost all were single men and women of ages 20 through to 35. After a short introduction to the concept the model was drawn on the white-board in simple format as shown below:

Step 1

MEN                                                               WOMEN

 

A                                                                     A

 

B                                                                     B

 

C                                                                     C

Step 2

An explanation was given then as to the scenario in the model as follows;

«A» men look for «B» women because they can control them, dominate them and have a higher social status.

«B» men do the same thing looking for «C» women.

«C» men have a hard time finding suitable women and often looked for uneducated country girls or poor family city girls.

«B» women seek «A» men in order to find social status, security and support for her family in the future through marriage to the «A» man.

«C» women seek «B» men for the same reasons. However a «C» woman dreams of an «A» man but is unlikely to attract them.

«A» woman finds «A» men too weak, unsupportive of their ambitions and afraid of their power and social status – and therefore end up alone with few suitable possible mates. «A» women can be attracted to foreign men who do not have the same social worries as Chinese men. The Chinese women being highly educated mostly speaking English well are able to communicate with foreigners in Shanghai, who are often businessmen or highly educated teachers or professors.

Step 3

The participants where then asked to discuss the merits of the model, give examples from their own lives and whether they agreed with the over-all concept bearing in mind people are individuals and that the model is merely a reflection of traditional values, Chinese culture and social mores of the current situation in Shanghai as of 2008.

Step 4

Free voting was then encouraged as to the validity of the model from the participant’s perspective. (There is of course through the explanation in step two some leading of the participants in the model’s view, however the researcher believes this was not enough for the participants to be mis-led when asked to vote from their own opinion as to whether they agreed with the model’s concepts.)

The Results:

At the end of each presentation most of the participants voted in support of the model (95%) – those who objected did so not because they thought the model wrong but in fact from personal experience of not having been in a relationship or that they hoped the model was in fact wrong and sought hope in that their own future relationships would be based on more romantic sentiments than the model suggested. In fact the model ignored «love» as a variable as in Chinese society this is considered unimportant when choosing a possible mate or marital partner for the future. The women who participated identified most closely with the model but the men often found that they wanted to disagree but when thinking about their own relationships found the model in fact had predicted their own current situation.

Discussion:

The results clearly show how difficult it is for an «A» girl, educated, successful, and glamorous in Shanghai to attract a suitable man to offer her support, equal status and long term commitment. The «B» and «C» girls are in fact more likely to have boyfriends and to attracted suitable husbands in the short term. According to Winch (1958) happy marriages are about fulfilling each others needs, even if this means an unequal partnership where one dominates and the other is dependent in nature. This complementary view of relationships was seen clearly by Berne (1960’s) in the theory of Transactional Analysis in which symbiosis in relationships was the most common factor. That is women are looking for a man to look after them and men want a woman to look after. Therefore «A» women in particular in China lose out to this idea. Chinese men do not want a more successful woman than themselves or one that has a higher social status that may embarrass them to their family and friends.

Many of the «A» girls that saw the model identified with the sentiments expressed in the model and often quoted anecdotal evidence to support the model from their own failed relationships where social status was the major issue in the break-up of the romance. Also many agreed that foreign men were a good choice for them sometimes, in the fact they are less concerned with social status and encouraged success and ambition in the woman’s career and life. This non-judgemental approach gave the women the support they feel they needed in their high pressure jobs and lifestyle.

Those who identified themselves as possible «B» women agreed they sought high social males as mates and looked first for security and a good future for themselves and their families. Under the one-baby policy of China this has created a great fear amongst young women that they must find a suitable husband to support their families in old age.

There were few «C» women in the participants mainly due to their lower status and education and are not likely to turn up in business English classes. Most «C» girls work as waitresses, shop-girls, cleaners and similar low-paid, low-status work.

There is a tendency to marry a person of a similar age in China, much more so than in Western countries where women more often seek men a few years older than themselves. This could in China be a contributory factor in the failure of relationships as the men are often less mature, socially and empathetically than the girls they are with. In this variable the likelihood of symbiosis is low and eventually leading to unhappy relationships based on unequal maturity between the couples.

Summery:

The sad part of this ABC model in Shanghai is that it may be seen in other big cities in China from Beijing, Wuhan, Guangzhou to Hong Kong in that successful, powerful and dominant women find it hard to find suitable men to encourage, support and love them for who they are; that is modern women with their sites set on ambition and wealth. The «A» girl’s social status is assured through her education, dedication and fashionable demeanour.

Many of the «A» girls admitted loneliness, frustration and disappointment in many of their failed relationships with men who are only interested in their own social status and saving face in Chinese society and culture. While we may think of this situation as sad, many of the actual woman took a positive view in that they had freedom to pursue their career, could determine their own life-style and enjoy autonomy without a man telling them what they should do and should not do in their daily lives.

In the future the model will be continued to be shown in classes and see if over time the results change in line with more modern thinking about success in women in China and a more mature attitude change in the men in seeing a woman successful and ambitious is a thing to be proud of not embarrassed by.

References:

Gross R. (2005) Psychology 4th Ed. The Science of Mind & Behaviour. Pgs. 412/413. Hodder & Stoughton Publishers.

Brown R. (1986) Social Psychology 2nd Ed. New York Free Press Publishers.

Thibaut JW & Kelley HH (1959) The Social Psychology of Groups. New York, Wiley Publishers.

Winch RF (1958) Mate Selection, A Study of Complimentary Needs. New York Harper Publishers.

Berne E. (1960’s) Various publications for Transactional Analysis.

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No Premier League Side in the Semi-Final of the Champions League! Is it a Sign of EPL’s Fall?

Firm followers of UEFA competitions and most especially the Champions League, can attest to the reality that there have been EPL sides in the semi-final of the champions league for the previous six seasons i.e. 2003-2009.

In the past six seasons, EPL sides regular in the champions league (Liverpool FC, Manchester United FC, Chelsea FC and Arsenal FC) have all some way featured in the semi-final of the champions league in the past six seasons, which made English and even foreigners marvel at their absence this season, in the semi-final of Europe’s elite club competition.

In 2005, Liverpool (the all red) and Chelsea (the true blues) locked horns in an entertaining semi-final with both sides led by managers who have managed his team for barely two seasons, Liverpool went on to win the encounter, after a closely contested semi-final match. Liverpool eventually emerged triumphant in that year’s Champions league, after defeating Ac-Milan in an epic final which saw one of the greatest comebacks in football history, 3-0 to 3-3 and then victory.

The proceeding year, Arsenal featured in both the Semi-final and final of the Champions league, to mark a turn-around in their footballing history, but were not so lucky to win the trophy after only qualifying for their first final match in the champions league. They battled with Barcelona in that year’s final, i.e. 2006 final, but got beaten by 2 goals to 1, with Jens Lehmann sent off in that match.

In 2007, Liverpool and Chelsea once again were drawn to do battle in the semi-final of the 2006/2007 season. With the first leg drawn to be played at Stamford Bridge, Chelsea had the opportunity of progressing, and they took full advantage of the home factor by defeating Liverpool by a lone goal after a highly contested fixture. At Anfield, Liverpool played with caution while also surging forward in search for the goal that will put them on level terms with Chelsea, luckily for Liverpool the goal came. A low cross from Steven «general» Gerard found an unmarked Daniel Agger, who sliced the ball through the bodies of Chelsea players and bang into the net early in the first half. Liverpool preserved the one goal lead even after 90 minutes until the extra time was over, then it was time for the ultimate decider; penalty kicks, Pepe Reina was the hero of the day as he saved the deciding spot kick to send Liverpool into the final for the second time in three seasons and a replay of 2005 final with AC-Milan, that dispatched Manchester United in the other semi-final clash by 5 goals to 3 on aggregate.

The final was a highly anticipated one, as two of Europe’s power houses in club football go head-to-head to decide the winner of the 2007 Champions League, eventually two Pippo Inzaghi goals, which made him the highest goal scorer in the Champions league, won Ac Milan the trophy for the seventh time in their footballing history.

The following year saw the best from English teams in the Champions League. All four English representatives made it to the quarter final, with three (Liverpool, after ousting Arsenal, Chelsea, and Manchester United) out of the four progressing onto the semi-final, Liverpool were eventually dumped by fellow English team Chelsea. The progression of Chelsea into the final in 2008 was the first time they were playing in the Champions League’s final; they battled with Manchester United for the coveted trophy, matched United strength for strength, skill for skill, technique for technique, but were just unlucky to miss out in the spot kicks, as United went on to win their third and Sir Alex Ferguson’s second UEFA Champions League trophy, which also aided Cristiano Ronaldo in winning the world player of the year award.

The year 2009, saw a different football style displayed by a team. 2009 Champions League was won by Barcelona of Spain, after showing the footballing world how the game should be played; neat defending, accurate passing, and clinical finishing: characterized the play of Barcelona en-route to winning the trophy for the third time in their history, after triumphs in 1992 and 2006.

2010 came with a lot of promise for the English sides, after bright starts from all the sides in their respective groups; Liverpool won its first game against Debrecen at Anfield, by a lone goal scored by Dirk Kuyt, which made him the club’s third highest goal scorer in Europe with 12 goal to his name. Chelsea also won its first game against FC Porto by a lone goal scored Nicolas Anelka, in a dull encounter due to the water soaked pitch.

Manchester United didn’t do badly in its first game; same was the case for Arsenal, all the English representatives representing well to the delight of English stalwarts. Things started becoming shaky as the competition progressed further to its crucial stage. Liverpool were ousted very early in the competition, as they were ousted in the group phase, even before the last group game. The victory of Fiorentina over Olympique Lyonnais in the game before the last, meant Liverpool were forced to the Europa league were they have solace recently, making an impressive run to the semi-final, having not scored lower than three goals on aggregate in the previous rounds, i.e. round of 32, round of 16 and quarter final, which has earned them a clash with Athletico Madrid away in Spain.

Chelsea were next up for elimination, after a partly successful run in the group onto the round of 16. Chelsea had great scares during a few of their group phase games, Athletico Madrid away in Spain was one those, where they had to settle for a 2 all draw after going through Didier Drogba, only to see a Sergio Diego Aguero brace give Athletico the lead, but Drogba proved to be very clinical in finishing when he slotted his second past Athletico’s goal. The most surprising of Chelsea’s group phase result came on the last day of the group. Apoel Nicosia making only its debut in the Champions League held all conquering Chelsea, with a full first team squad, to a 2 all draw at Stamford Bridge.

Arsenal had the most impressive group phase performance where they picked up 16 of the 18 available points in a group which consisted of Olympiakos, Standard Liege, and Az Alkmaar, which are low pedigree teams with frequent Champions League due to inability to make it through the preliminary.

Manchester United, I would say, had an indifferent group campaign. Had a great start, but flattered during the crucial mid games, needed the last game to confirm qualification but put threw any doubts into the thrash after a Michael Owen hat-trick cancelled out Edin Dzeko’s opening goal, for VFL Wolfsburg at Old Trafford.

With the progression of three tops teams from England into the round of 16, hopes and expectation were extremely high. The English teams, however, didn’t get the perfect draws, Chelsea were billed to face Inter-Milan, tutored by Jose Mourinho, Manchester United drawn to do battle with 7 times European champions, Ac-Milan, and Arsenal getting a re-match of the 2009 group game against Porto Fc, 2004 winners.

The first legs saw the English teams face real test of strength, skill and technique.

Manchester United were tested for all the mentioned above against Ac-Milan, first in Giuseppe Meazza, San Siro and then in Old Trafford, but then they emerged victorious on both legs, winning 7-2 on aggregate, with Wayne Rooney scoring four of the seven goals, i.e. 2 goals in each leg.

Arsenal had a similar situation, against Fc Porto, the Portuguese representatives giving them a good run for their money, most especially in Portugal, where the first leg was hosted, which Fc Porto won by 2 goals to 1, in a match which Porto’s second goal by Falcao, was a bit controversial, appearing to be an offside goal.

At Emirates stadium, Arsenal showed no mercy, firing 2 goals past Helton in goal for Porto in quick succession, and at half time, it was Arsenal 2 Porto 1. Porto started brightly in the second half of the game, attacking Arsenal from all angles of the pitch. As the game grew, Arsenal became for more confident, and began playing like the Arsenal we are use to watching in league games. Samri Nasri threw the Emirates into ecstasy, when he dribbled past three Porto defenders and slotted past helpless Helton, who tried to rush out to prevent the goal, but all to no avail. Super sub, Emmanuel Eboue, came on minutes later and sealed the victory, with a clean finish, after he outran the Porto defenders and was set up by Andre Arshavin, with only the keeper to beat, he rounded him neatly before netting Arsenal’s four to cap a fine performance from truly smoking gunners. Nicklas Bendtner, who had earlier netted 2 superb strikes, added a third to mark his first hat trick in his Arsenal career.

It wasn’t a bed of roses for Chelsea neither, as they had to suffer defeats in the hands of Inter-Milan on both legs, which put paid to their Champions League campaign. At the magnificent Giuseppe Meazza, Inter tested Chelsea for wits, work rate and technique, as both teams played out their lives to progress in the competition. Chelsea partly outplayed, but all the «ball possession» could not fetch them the win which they set out to achieve. The ball possession favoured Chelsea in the first leg match, but these were not translated into goals neither were they translated in the goal attempt, shot-on-goal, and so on. Of all the teams which started European campaign in September, Liverpool can be deduced to be the most disappointing of all, due to the fact that it was knocked out in the group phase.

Presently, there are only two English teams in European competition, Liverpool FC and Fulham FC and they both have interesting fixtures in the semi-final, having to face Athletico Madrid and Hamburg, respectively.

There is the possibility of an all English Europa league final, a feat which has not been achieved for over 6 seasons.

The absence of premier league teams In the semi-final of the champions league, in my own estimation, does not connote the fall of the premier league, rather the sole reason is the reality that we have come to face, which is the fact that teams form other countries have sat down and reviewed the methods of English teams, which they have applied, and it has worked magically and very effectively too.

English teams were neither totally outclassed, outpowered nor outplayed, but rather the element of luck was against them, and also the English teams have had a good run in the past, so let other teams enjoy same, so people won’t say the Champions league is an English competition. The English teams will rise up to take what’s rightfully theirs, which is the prestige it has earned over the years, a prestige which in my estimation, is in jeopardy considering the inability of making it to the semi-final of Europe’s elite club competition.

Upon this I settle, the absence of English teams in the semi-final of the champions league is by no means equal to the fall of the premier league, and besides which other league is so unpredictable as the premier league? A league where any team can beat any team, home or away; name the league.

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Top 10 Romantic Getaways in the U.S

How do you make a top-ten list of something subjective like honeymoon locations? Systematically, that’s how.

Highly Scientific Ranking

To create this list, I started with general Internet searches for top honeymoon spots in the U.S. I tried to weed out the advertisers and focused instead on the news and information websites, such as About.com, MSNBC and USA Today.

Next, I began putting the various lists into a spreadsheet, and then cross-referenced the data to find the ten locations that occurred most often on the most lists. When that proved to be way too complicated, I just picked the ten locations I liked the most! Voila … a top-ten romantic getaway list (in no particular order).

Top 10 Romantic Getaways in the United States

1. Mountain Cabin – Part One

If you’re the kind of person that equates «romantic getaway» with «mountain seclusion,» then a cabin in the Rockies might be just the thing. The popular ski towns of Aspen and Vail, Colorado are popular for another reason – cabin retreats. Imagine the snow falling around your warm and cozy cabin. Imagine the smell of hot chocolate and the bubbling sound of a hot tub. And just imagine being there with the one you love!

2. Mountain Cabin – Part Two

The Smokey Mountains come up on a lot of romantic getaway lists. For instance, each year approximately 10,000 people get married in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, a popular vacation spot in the Smokey Mountains. Because of this, the mountain town has become known as the unofficial wedding and honeymoon capital of the South. With its wooded seclusion, small-town charm, and breathtaking mountain views, it’s no wonder so many people equate «Gatlinburg» with «romantic retreat.»

3. Bed & Breakfast in Vermont

Manchester, Vermont offers all the ingredients of a classic New England getaway — white-steepled churches, bed and breakfast accommodations, romantic dining and great skiing.

In more recent times, shopping has also taken root in Manchester. The city’s website, ManchesterVermont.com, says: «Today, visitors to our community come to enjoy Brooks Brothers, Ralph Lauren and J. Crew, as well as the more traditional recreational activities.»

4. Cape Cod, Massachusetts

There’s a reason the Kennedy family owned vacation homes in Cape Cod. This New England seascape is the essence of «small beach town» tranquility. Don’t expect an action-packed beach-resort experience – Cape Cod is not that kind of vacation spot. But if your idea of relaxation is a seaside stroll along historic harbors, biking and boating, and visiting an antique shop or two, then this is your place.

5. San Francisco, California

San Francisco is a picturesque city with a diverse mix of cultures and populations. It’s also a popular destination for couples in search of a romantic getaway. Between the Golden Gate Bridge and their world-famous trolleys, San Francisco offers something for everyone.

As an alternative, you might also consider adjacent Sausalito, California, a Mediterranean-style village that marks the gateway to California Wine Country. And speaking of California wine…

6. California Wine Country

If your idea of romance involves good wine and good scenery, you can’t go wrong with California Wine Country as your destination. Napa Valley and Sonoma County are about an hour’s drive north of San Francisco, and they have long been an attraction for honeymooners, wine lovers, and wine-loving honeymooners. Add in the scenery and the availability of bed-and-breakfast-style lodging, and you have all the makings of a great romantic getaway.

7. Big Island, Hawaii

Sure, some parts of Hawaii are quite touristy. (Waikiki comes to mind.) But there are plenty of locations on the volcano-formed island that offer beauty, seclusion and a nature-rich experience you can’t find anywhere else.

On the Big Island of Hawaii, the Kona Village Resort is famous for providing comfort and luxury in an otherwise remote tropical region. The resort is also a popular spot for honeymooners, and it comes up on quite a few «top ten» lists like this one.

8. Charleston, South Carolina

I grew up in Virginia and have traveled all throughout the Carolinas. But when I think of «Southern hospitality,» one place comes to mind above all others. Charleston, South Carolina. Marjabelle Young Stewart, one of America’s well-known etiquette experts, once called Charleston the «most mannerly» city in the U.S., and I think she was right.

Founded in 1670, Charleston held significance during both the American Revolution and the Civil War. To this day, it retains much of its old-world charm and gentility. Conde Nast Traveler has named it a top-ten domestic destination for nine consecutive years.

There’s one other thing I love about Charleston. I’m a southerner by birth, and I vote for Charleston as having the most delightful of all the southern dialects.

9. Niagara Falls

Okay, so this one’s a bit cliche. But the reason Niagara Falls has been in so many movies, songs and water-cooler conversations is because so many people flock to it with romantic notions in mind. Straddling the border between the U.S. (New York) and Canada, Niagara Falls has attracted honeymooners and getaway-ers for 200 years.

In fact, if you played word-association and said «Niagara Falls,» most people would probably say one of two things – waterfall or honeymoon. For that reason alone, Niagara Falls has earned its place on this list.

10. Home Sweet Home

If you consider your home a cozy refuge from the world, it is in a sense a getaway. After all, home is a place to get away from lots of things — work, school, crowds, relatives, noise, traffic and hassle. It’s also a place where you’re the most comfortable. So there’s certainly nothing unromantic about a crackling fire, a bottle of champagne, and a table for two in home sweet home.

ENVÍO y DEVOLUCIÓN GRATIS – Gran colección de Camisetas de fútbol oficiales – Descubre camisetas de equipos y selecciones europeas en camisetafutboles.com. by BR Cornett

How Has Manchester Changed Over the Years?

Some cities in the world are famous due to their many distinctive qualities from the other cities like the presence of big universities, a number of national and international restaurants with appetizing food, luxurious and moderate hotels, a large number of shopping opportunities and fame in sports. Manchester is among those well-known cities which not only grasps the tourists’ attention but also the interests of people living all over the world for residential purposes. It is the second largest city of UK and is also called ‘Capital of the North’. There are many museums, theaters, bars, clubs, and galleries for you to visit and keep you happy.

In the late 1700s, Manchester was a small village with a minimal population. However, over the years it has grown into a metropolitan city. Manchester has developed incredibly since then. The Manchester Airport serves Manchester and North West England and has the most passengers outside London in UK. Manchester now also has a very well spread and developed railway network. Manchester Piccadilly is the busiest English train station other than London.

Manchester is now becoming a city where people are choosing to settle. Once it had a bad reputation resulting from its industrial past. However, the scenario has drastically changed over the past decade and now Manchester has a lively, exciting air. Many people conceive it as a young, vibrant and thrilling city, where there is always something happening. In fact, many perceive Manchester as a rival to London.

Old Manchester was much expensive in terms of living, studying and shopping. However, now due to the presence of shopping malls and shops in large number, the commodities are available at affordable rates. The five star luxurious hotels are still expensive, but some are offered within your limits. Manchester is also developing in terms of construction and beauty as many buildings and parks are now constructed there. Construction of new architectural and exciting buildings has provided a charm for the tourists.

In the past, there was only one big university in the city where thousands of students of different countries were getting education, but now Manchester has many big universities with well-recognised degrees around the world. It has got a prominence and fame in learning and education.

The city has made good use of historical buildings to attract tourists and modern art can be spot throughout the city as well. New flagship stores, tall glass shops and new hotels are the gems of Manchester.

In sports, Manchester United is famous in football; it attracts thousands of tourists from all over the world due to its sports and tactics. Throughout the years, the Millennium and the Commonwealth games have prompted on a huge uplift to the city. It is regarded as the centre of football with two most popular teams Manchester United and Manchester City.

Manchester is becoming more modernised in terms of industrialisation as well. It has an industrial past with the textile industry of mills and goods provided to other states through canals and shipping. It was named as the best place for business in UK in a poll. Manchester offers many opportunities for work and jobs.

This city has therefore come a long way from a mere village over the past. Many people find it a perfect place not only to visit but to settle also.

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