How To Handle Your Nasty Self-Criticism

I’ve received multiple emails from readers sharing what triggers their self-criticism. Self-criticism can be one of the most MASSIVE obstacles to tackle, because it underlies everything.

What you’re telling yourself will determine the way you feel, the behaviors and actions you take and the words you say to others. Your «invisible scripts» shape your experience of your world. They are the paintbrushes on your life canvas (OK, that was slightly cheesy, but you get the point).

The sneaky thing with these invisible scripts is that they are… well, invisible.

Generally, you don’t notice them. They run around in the background of your mind all day long, and occur to you like they’re real.

Your invisible scripts sound like an observation of reality, but they’re actually a biased judgement coming from a part of you that wants to keep you behaving in the same way you always have.

Here’s a few recent comments from readers about their self-criticism or invisible scripts. I’ve bolded the invisible scripts for emphasis. These are the things that these readers are telling themselves and believing that it’s reality:

«If I have one lick of something that I feel is a «bad food» I start to feel I have failed and throw in the towel. I know logically I cannot be perfect, but I use that inability to let a binge take over. It makes no sense.«

«I teach Pilates and actually TRAIN people around health and fitness… and then I can’t even control myself! I come home and somehow start eating, then get so mad at myself for being a weak failure. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.«

«Its like ever since I moved to the US and started having kids, I lost touch with myself or something. I don’t have much time to myself and when the kids finally go to bed I just want to eat. I know that it’s a bad habit but I can’t stop doing it.«

«I will be good for a week and eat healthy and then I just lose it and say hell with it and hate myself. I know better but it doesn’t matter when I am alone and have a weak moment. It would be nice to have one piece of chocolate or something but I can’t do that. Once I start, I don’t stop.«

Most of the time, a part of you knows that what you’re telling yourself probably isn’t ACTUALLY true, but you believe it anyway.

Which makes total sense if part of you is really used to beating yourself up.

Naturally, that part is going to be looking for ways to be right that you’re not good enough, a failure, or whatever it is that you tell yourself when you’re being critical. So when you eat something that one part of you has judged to be «bad», the other part of you will rejoice in victory because it’s RIGHT that you always throw in the towel.

The trick is to notice when that part of you is looking to be right.

When you hear these negative thoughts running in your head, take note. Observe what’s happening. You don’t need to stop the thoughts (or feel doubly bad that you are allowing the negative thoughts to override everything). Just notice them.

You can appreciate that it’s coming from a part of your ego or your «animal brain» that’s just doing its job. As your ego or your «animal brain», it’s #1 priority is to protect you.

It’s trying to keep you in the same patterns because those are trusted, reliable patterns you’ve lived most of your life. It doesn’t want you to do something radically different, like enjoy the pleasure of the food for what it is and NOT beat yourself up over it.

Our minds are funny things.

When you notice this part of you, you can see it for what it is. You don’t have to react to it unless you choose to. If you choose to react to it as you normally would, you’re making a conscious decision. This puts you in the driver’s seat because you’re making a choice rather than reacting on autopilot.

This is very similar to when you have urges to eat when you aren’t physically hungry, or to overeat. The urges are being driven by this same part, the «animal» brain, that’s trying to protect you by comforting you, nurturing and feeding you because—for whatever reason—it feels triggered.

A habitual response to these urges, just like the invisible scripts, is to react and do what you’ve done before. Whether its beating yourself up, calling yourself a failure or eating the entire box of ice cream.

The hard thing to do with cravings or urges to eat is to notice the impulse to react and choose to let it run its course without taking action.

Likewise, the hard thing to do with nasty self-criticism is to notice it, choose to recognize where it’s coming from, thank it for trying to protect you and then let it pass on by.

It’s hard because, in the moment, it feels SO REAL.

And when you’re that triggered, if you’re like me, you don’t want to let it pass. You want to be bitchy, nasty and down on yourself because you think you deserve it.

So here’s a challenge for you this week:

See if you can find the «invisible script» or voice telling you that you’re failing (or you’re weak, or ugly, or whatever your word weapon of choice is). You don’t have to take it seriously. You can just listen to it like you would listen to a little yippy dog at your ankles. You know it’s there, but you don’t have to engage with it unless you choose to.

Notice how often you hear it.

Notice what you’re doing when you hear it.

See if you can zoom out for a moment when you hear it. If this is your «animal brain» telling you this message in order to keep you behaving in a certain way and feeling bad about yourself, it’s not real. It’s a triggered, programmed impulse. Congratulate yourself on being able to recognize it.

Congratulating yourself in the face of nasty self-criticism is the opposite of what you will feel compelled to do. But you’ve got the winning hand: you can’t transform it until you can see it.

When you can see it for what it is, it will lose steam. The more you notice the criticism and choose to not indulge it, the easier it will be to let it pass and put your attention elsewhere.

Can you spot your scripts?

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Physical Therapy and Recovery

If you play sports or other physical activities, then you know that injuries come with the territory. Depending on the type of injury and the extent of your injury, you may need physical therapy. Physical therapy is the process of rehabilitation and recovery from your injury or physical ailment. Physical therapy works on recovery of your musculoskeletal system. Massage therapy is used as part of the recovery process. Some of the more advanced therapy clinics are starting to use massage chair recliners as part of their arsenal of tools to help people recover from their injuries.

If you start a physical therapy program, then you will be assigned a physical therapist. The therapist is a trained professional to help restore your strength, motion and activity. The therapist understands the mechanics of your body and will help design a treatment program for you. You will learn specific stretches, exercises and other specialized techniques to help your body recover. You may also use specific equipment that can address particular issues. Massage therapy has become an important tool in the recovery arsenal and many clinics are making use of massage chair recliners.

Your therapist is trained in different surgeries, treatments and rehabilitation techniques and goals. The therapist will design a recovery treatment targeting the areas of your body that needs greater flexibility or strength. If you are recovering from surgery, then the therapist will be knowledgeable about different surgical procedures. The therapist will help in setting goals as you work through the initial limitations of your physique. Some of the important physical therapy tools are stretching, exercises and massage therapy.

Stretching is important to help regain lost flexibility. The muscles may be tight, the joints stiff and you may have scar tissue. These reduce your range of motion and decrease flexibility. Stretching helps to elongate the muscles. This helps to stretch the muscles helping their elasticity. A frequent and continuous regimen of daily stretching helps to speed recovery. Your therapist will design a stretching routine which will help focus on restoring the range of motion.

Exercises are important to help rebuild strength. When we have an injury, we tend to protect that area. Protecting that area is usually to isolate and immobilize it. In other words, we tend not to use the injured area. This helps to prevent further injury, but at the expense of strength and conditioning. To help rebuild the body, exercises help to build up strength, endurance and agility. Physical therapy clinics have a wide array of exercise equipment from treadmills, stationary bikes, weights and more. These help you focus building up a particular set of muscles.

Massage therapy is important to assist the total healing process. The muscle tissue breaks down and its fibers become shorter. This makes the muscles tighter. Massage therapy starts where stretching leaves off. Massage therapy helps to penetrate deeper into the muscle tissue to help elongate and invigorate the muscles. This helps the healing process by restoring flexibility throughout the muscle and scar tissue. Massage is given either by a massage therapist or a massage chair. Massage chairs come with a variety of therapeutic massages, heat therapies and even traction. These not only provide effective therapy but also help you to relax and clear your mind.

Whether you are a professional tennis player or a beginner skier, injuries can happen to anyone. If you do find yourself in physical therapy, work on setting goals to recover. Find yourself an excellent physical therapy clinic. Make sure they have qualified people, proper exercise equipment and massage therapy. And if you need massage therapy, make sure a massage chair is part of your recovery plans.

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New to London – Where to Stay

London is one big town with plenty to do. So where to stay to get the most out of London?

Personally, I strongly suggest staying around a zone 2 area. For the benefit of those who don’t know what this means – I am referring to the zones in the London transport system, specifically the trains or the tube as its commonly known.

So, lets begin. Firstly, to get our bearings of the city, let us understand the places of work in London. The common areas where you will probably work in London could be anywhere between Hammersmith in the West to Aldgate in the East to Baker Street in the North. If you are working in Finance or Banking than there is a high probability that you will be working in Canary Wharf (in the east).

Secondly, places to party / theatre / and awesome nights out would be: Green Park, Piccadilly Circus, Leicester Square & Covent Garden.

Thirdly, primary shopping spot – for the fashion slaves, London’s main shopping strip is Oxford Street between Bond St and Oxford Circus.

So here are list of my fav areas for each direction on the compass with approx weekly rent per person:

North

£150 – 175 per person / per week

Swiss Cottage – nice area, not many pubs or spots for night out but very convenient

West Hampstead – next to Swiss Cottage, great local spots at West End Lane

Finchley Road – very very convienient for commuting to the airports for weekend getaways, close to a shopping centre (the O2) and close to the local drinking spots in West Hampstead.

A lot of young professional people living in these areas.

£130 – 160 per person / per week

Angel – eclectic, a lot of bars and places to hang out. A bit like Newtown in Sydney.

West

£160 – 200+ per person / per week

Posh posh posh.

Notting Hill – famous from the movie, host a carnival every year. Great market and a good vibe

Bayswater – Convenient, close to Notting Hill and a little cheaper than Notting Hill

South

£160 – 180 per person / per week

Victoria Station – the famous station. Super convenient, close to theatres and the West End / Piccadilly Circus / Greenpark (London’s nightlife hub)

£140ish

Pimlico – nice area, close to Victoria station. Some spots might have some views towards Waterloo / the Parliament.

East

In the old days the East would be a no go zone. Now its been re-vamped with plenty of new apartments around / high rises and modern places, very convient for the banking and finance folks who work in Canary Wharf.

Prices Vary. Areas to consider:

Canada Water

Canary Wharf

Limehouse

So, where to stay? Well when I was in London, I worked at Bank, Canary Wharf and Aldgate East (all towards the East) but stayed in West Hamstead / Finchley Rd / Swiss Cottage. I loved it – price was reasonable, good gentry, close to London’s West End and so easy to travel over the weekends with great bus services to the airports.

Enjoy, and don’t hesitate to contact us at Globe Unlimited if you want to discuss or know anything more from this article.

http://www.globeunlimited.com.au

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EPL 2011-12 Preview: Chelsea Vs Liverpool

Stamford Bridge will be witness to a big match day when Liverpool travel to face Chelsea, on Saturday, November 19, 2011, in match week 12.

Villas-Boas’ men are coming off a 1-0 win away at Blackburn, on the back of Lampard’s 52nd minute header. It was an unconvincing performance by the Stamford Bridge squad for whom the game was a must-win, after consecutive league defeats, including a 5-3 loss at home to Arsenal. The visitors were colourless in the first half; after a first minute scoring opportunity to Sturridge that was saved by Robinson, the hosts dominated possession.

Chelsea were lucky to see a shot from Yakubu go wide as he reached out to prod a cross from Formica home. Sturridge was the outstanding player for Chelsea, and he came close to winning a penalty, and had another scoring attempt. Rovers almost equalised on 86 minutes when the ball ricocheted off the underside of the bar after Ivanovic’s muffed an attempted clearance off a Pedersen corner.

Liverpool played out a 0-0 stalemate against Swansea, at Anfield, in match week 11. The hosts failed to breach a Swansea defence on a day that will be remembered for Andy Carroll’s missed scoring chance more than anything else. This was Liverpool’s third consecutive home draw that had several other scoring opportunities squandered, including one by Routledge for Swansea, and Liverpool were lucky not to concede and had Reina between the posts to thank for a brilliant one-handed save that kept Routledge’s shot from doing damage.

Head to head, Chelsea and Liverpool have met 18 times, in the Premier League, and Chelsea have won on 9 of those occasions, while Liverpool have won on 7, with the remaining two games drawn. The last time these teams met was in February 2011, at the same venue; Liverpool won that game 1-0.

Currently placed 4th on the league table, the Stamford Bridge squad have hosted 5 home games, this season, winning 4 and losing the remaining one, while Liverpool who are in 6th place have had 3 wins and 2 losses in 5 games on the road.

This one promises to be an intriguing match between two well-matched teams both trying to get some momentum going in their campaign, with Chelsea enjoying an edge on the back of home advantage.

Chelsea’s starting eleven against Blackburn: Cech, Ivanovic, Alex, Terry, Cole, Ramires, Mikel, Lampard, Mata, sturridge, Malouda.

Liverpool’s starting eleven against Swansea: Reina, Johnson, Skrtel, Agger, Jose Enrique, Henderson, Lucas, Adam, Downing, Carroll, Suarez.

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Landlords, Do You Know the Importance of Keeping Your Property Safe?

With the winter season well underway, domestic gas and electricity usage is on the up – and it’s your job to ensure that your property and tenants are as safe as possible by checking all the electrical and gas appliances in use.

Hiring a fully qualified, registered professional to tackle any gas and electrical jobs, whether large or small, is of the utmost importance.

A good lettings agent should be able to organise electrical tests and gas safety checks for you, whether in house or by recommending trusted contractors.

Electricity

You’re legally obliged to ensure that all electrical items and household appliances supplied as part of your property letting are safe. Look out for:

  • Badly frayed or damaged insulation
  • Old or exposed wire
  • Poorly fitted or cracked plugs
  • Scorch-marked or damaged sockets
  • Plugs without sleeved, insulated pins

Be sure to repair or replace any equipment or appliances that are past their best with new equipment that meets current BS and EC standards.

If you have a property requiring a house of Multiple Occupation License from the Local Authority, by law you will need to provide confirmation of electrical safety. But it will give you and your tenants real peace of mind if you arrange for on-going checks anyway. A qualified electrical engineer should test every appliance and help you to keep a log of:

  • Item make and serial number
  • Item condition
  • Dates of Portable Appliance (PAT) test

Remember, some insurance companies won’t pay out if untested electrical items cause damage.

Gas

Any gas appliances and systems can pose a great risk if they are not fitted and maintained properly.

As a landlord, you are legally obliged to comply with the Gas Safety Regulations 1994 for any equipment that uses mains or liquid gas in your rented property.

Carbon Monoxide poisoning is a real danger that can cause severe illness and even death. Carbon Monoxide is a colourless and odourless gas, so you and your tenants may not even be aware of its presence until it’s too late.

And any kind of gas leak can have catastrophic consequences, from gas poisoning to risk of fire.

A fully qualified GasSafe engineer should carry out an annual full check at any properties that you rent out.

It is important to be aware that a standard annual service offered by many tradespeople does not comply with the legal regulations for landlords and may leave your tenants and property at risk – so be sure that your engineer is GasSafe registered.

To comply with the regulations you must:

  • Hire a GasSafe registered engineer who is qualified to work on the particular appliances and systems in your property
  • Ensure a full gas safety check is completed both prior to a let and every year thereafter
  • Ensure all gas fittings and flues are maintained safely at all times
  • Repair or replace any defective gas appliances or pipework as soon as possible, ensuring any damaged items are not used until made safe
  • When all checks have been completed, you must:
  • Give a copy of the gas safety check certificate to your tenants

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